“So I’m thinking about learning Ancient Greek, did I tell you that? Imagine reading the classics in their original language. Probably some pretty cool forgotten truths to be found.”

It had been a long week, and it was a long week of not thinking about anything like Ancient Greece. It was a long week with people who probably wouldn’t even know what Ancient Greece was, or why anyone would want to learn it. I knew Nick would understand though. He has been my buddy from way back, and he knows about this kind of stuff. It had actually been a few years since we last met, what with me having moved town over a decade ago, but I knew (or thought I knew) that things wouldn’t change.

“Buddy…” he started, “First, you’re not gonna learn Ancient Greek, okay? You may think you are, but you’re not.”

This was not the game of badminton that I thought I would be finally having.

“Wudduya mean? I want to study it. I like things like that. You know that.”

“Buddy…” he repeated, “I get that you want to learn Ancient Greece. And yeah. That’s cool. It’s a cool idea man. I am happy that you got a cool idea in your head. And yeah, it totally is a cool idea buddy.”

“I’m confused, you don’t think I can?”

“Why do you make me repeat ‘buddy’ so many times? Yeah buddy, you could. I guess you could. You learned Japanese. I’ll give you that. Good on you buddy. But still, you won’t learn Ancient Greek.”

“I’m still not getting why you can be so sure of this, and why you’re so adamant about squashing this for me. Maybe I won’t yeah, but I really want to man. I could read Plato in the original language!”

“I’m gonna give you a fourth buddy, buddy. I can’t believe you’re gonna make me say it, but if you need to hear it, fine. Let’s do it man.”

“I honestly have no idea what we’re going to do, but sure man, let’s do it.”

I wasn’t bored, which was good. My beer was done, which wasn’t good. I ordered another beer for us, as Nick wanted to go pee before he got into whatever it was. I respected that. I hate having to hold in a pee right when I’m in the middle of something.

Nick got back to our two beers on the table.

“Listen buddy”, he started, “you and me both know that you never read Plato in any language.”

He took a sip of his beer, gazing somewhere absentmindedly when he continued.

“Hell, I bet you have a copy of Plato’s Republic on your shelf. Right next to the Wealth of Nations and Das Kapital. I bet it’s prominent so your dates can see it if they ever happen to come back to your place, but regardless, we both know that you haven’t read it.”

This seemed besides the point (although embarrassingly right on the mark).

“Why would I need to read it in English if I’m planning on learning Ancient Greek? I should really read the original no?”

“Right buddy, because when you dedicate yourself to Ancient Greek, you’re just gonna go poof and be fluent in it, and never need to have basic knowledge of the book before diving in. You’ll just get it right away.”

“Well I haven’t thought about it that much, I just had the idea that it would be cool to learn Ancient Greek. I mean, yeah, maybe I wouldn’t, but it’s a cool idea.”

“Buddy, it’s a cool idea, sure. Maybe people that don’t talk to you often could give you a ‘that’s amazing’ and a ‘oh, you must be so smart’, you know, those lines you pretend to hate but secretly speak in a way to ensure people do say. But I’m not some woman you’re trying to impress with this mysterious intellect. I’m your buddy buddy. And I know you’re not learning Ancient Greek. Hell, you seem to also know that now, but you didn’t when you said it to me.”

“I think you’re getting too passionate about this Nick. This is just conversation at the bar between friends. We’re shooting the shit. Talking about our dreams. Guys in their 40s can have dreams too you know. Have you given up on your dreams?”

“I want you to have dreams buddy. I’m not saying don’t give up on your dreams. It would be nice if you got past the brainstorming stage though. You can spit out the dreams like a madman, sure, but then they go poof, and then you think about the next one.”

Nick had more beer. I had more beer. I kind of wanted a pizza. I didn’t know if they had pizza or not.

“And buddy,” Nick continued, “You’re probably too much in lalaland to even realize this, but this isn’t even the first time you told me you wanna learn Ancient Greek. Didja know that?”

I didn’t know that either, but again, it didn’t seem relevant to me. We were just shooting the shit.

“Nick man, we’re just shooting the shit. Yeah, maybe I had this idea before, and maybe I forgot, but even so, both times it’s the real me, and it’s the real me telling you what’s going on with me.”

“Buddy, I’m not saying it’s not the real you, I’m calling you a dunce. Think about it buddy. When you’re shooting the shit with all these dreams, what do you think the other person is thinking? Do you think about that?”

“Man, I don’t need to think about that”, I was honestly getting a little annoyed, “the point is to have a real conversation, and now you’re wanting me to go censor myself?”

“Buddy only you would call having consideration for the person you’re talking to censoring yourself.” Nick drank more, now not staring absentmindedly somewhere, but looking at me, with that goofy smile he sometimes gets that I never think matches what he says.

“When you tell someone you’re gonna learn Ancient Greek, what do you think they think? First, they think that’s awesome. That’s smart. They can’t wait to hear the progress on it. Their friend is gonna know Ancient Greek! Awesome! But then do you know what happens? They meet up with you at the bar again, and they are about to shoot the shit again, and do you know what they ask? They ask ‘how’s the Ancient Greek going man? Honestly, you actually inspired me to look at this app where you can pick up a bit in 5 minutes a day, it’s pretty good! Definitely not as good as you man, you’ve always been smart.’ That’s what they say man. And do you know what your response is? Do you? First, by this time you would have completely forgotten you wanted to study Ancient Greek. You were living in the moment. You were saying what’s on your mind like a real individual, and like a real individual whose lost at sea, you forgot the thought the next morning. So when you laugh and say that learning Ancient Greek sounds awesome, but not for you right now, the person you’re talking to is disappointed. They know not to trust you and the shit you say. It’s empty shit.”

“Nick man, aren’t you taking this too far. It’s just conversation!”

“Buddy, I’m doing this for you, and it is not conversation. It is you spewing out whatever is inside you that you need to get out, without any thought of how the other person will rally it back. Yes, I’m using your weird conversation/badminton analogy buddy. You drink. You spew those pseudo-intellectual thoughts, you feel good and you go to sleep. You’re intellectually masterbating, and doing it to shitty porn too.”

“Nick man, what else are people supposed to talk about? Their day at work? The wife and kids? I’m not boring like that man.”

“Buddy, you can talk about Ancient Greek all you want. But how about this? Your unboring dreamer self talks about shit in the past tense. You know? You talk about actions you did, and not things you will do. You bought a book in Ancient Greek? High-five buddy. You got the alphabet down? I’ll give you a light pat on the bum buddy. A nice light one. You got some of the grammar down and even see how translating into English can affect meaning? I’ll fucking take you to prom and save you a dance.”

“I’m busy man. You know that. I would love to learn Ancient Greek, but I’m just too busy.”

“You’re not too busy to dream buddy. You’re not too busy to daydream unrelated thoughts and imagine the outcomes where people praise you for your intellect. You’re just too busy to do some boring tedious real work to make any of these dreams happen.”

Nick was beginning to annoy me. I didn’t want to waste my Friday night hearing about how shit I am. He knows how hard my job is too. And he knows it’s a much better job that he has. I think Nick saw this in my face.

“Buddy you getting sore now? Alright, let’s change the topic. My bad, I got on a bit of a role, but you know that’s what friends are for right? Like we always said, we’re here to break each other down when we’re all high on ourselves. I see you don’t got anyone else to do that for you buddy.”

“Nick man we’re adults now. You know how my job is. What the fuck man?”

“Buddy, you can’t stop eh? You gotta have something where I praise you. Alright buddy, you definitely aren’t learning Ancient Greek, but yeah, your job is hard. How is your job going anyways? Hear you’re going to Singapore in a few weeks?”

The conversation from there was not longer about Ancient Greek, and Nick listened about my job, and rallied back as I expected he should in a ‘good conversation’, and in the moment I was loving it, and we had awesome laughs and all that, but the next day when I woke up I didn’t feel all refreshed, and I think I kept on dreaming about Ancient Greek, and what I wanted to do.

I don’t want to learn Ancient Greek. It was just a feeling. But why did I say I wanted to? What made Nick go on that much about it? How did he easily then bring the conversation elsewhere? I didn’t get it.

I thought about it though, and I did want to try on thing: to talk about dreams in the past tense. I didn’t want to tell anyone anymore what I wanted to do. Not to say that normal people shouldn’t do this, they definitely should and have a great time, but I knew that in this sense I was mutated a little bit. I got joy in just saying I wanted to do things with zero connection to reality. Weird.

Thanks Nick.