I noticed her before I noticed him. I think that’s because I’m a straight male, but maybe it’s for another reason. I would say she is in her late 30’s/early 40’s, and would also say that she takes really good care of herself. The first thing I noticed was her eyebrows which always seemed perfectly trimmed. They weren’t trimmed in any desperate attempt at beauty, but they were trimmed because of a meticulous attitude regarding what should be done. In the winter she wore more formal business attire, and in the summer her clothes were more colorful. I remember her more from the summer than I do the winter, but I do remember both versions of her. I didn’t feel any attraction to her, but I did think she was beautiful. I sometimes feel guilty when I don’t feel an attraction but still think the person is beautiful. Like perhaps I am thinking they are beautiful as a sort of consolation prize. Like my being attracted to somebody is first prize at some American county fair that everyone fights for or something.

I get on the Sobu Line at Chiba, and she gets on the Sobu later. I’m going to guess Makuharihongo, but it is just a guess. It’s been a few years since I saw her last.
Makuharihongo is about 10-15 minutes after Chiba. Chiba is the first stop on the Sobu and therefore I always get a seat. Sometimes she would stand in front of me, but the more I saw her on the Sobu, the more she wouldn’t. That’s her being smart. I got off at Shinjuku, and she got off before that. If she wants to sit down, she would learn quickly that there is no reason to stand in front of me. However, sometimes she did absentmindedly, or perhaps a “sit down strategy” never crossed her mind.

He got on the train after Makuharihongo. I’m going to guess Higashifunabashi, but again, it is only a guess. He was older than her. I’m going to guess he was married as well. He had a very fair, meticulously (again) trimmed beard. He was also in very good shape, and had a tan. If he was a high school teacher, he could’ve been a soccer coach. With the way he dressed, and the time of the train he rode, I highly doubt he was a high school teacher. He just had that air about him.

I was convinced they were having an affair. She was single. He was married. She loved him. She looked forward to looking around as the doors opened at Higashifunabashi, and her usual cold face lit up when she saw him. He would stand next to her, and they would talk. I don’t think he didn’t love her, but it was more complicated for him. Maybe he had kids too? Maybe he just couldn’t divorce his wife. Maybe he loved his wife, and this woman was amazing at sex? Maybe he pitied this woman.

Their relationship changed in the 15 months I rode the 8:15 Sobu local from Chiba station.
In the beginning her face was cold. She stared at her mobile phone. One day when she sat beside me I checked what she was always staring so intently at. I half assumed it would be Twitter (which I would think is cool), and half feared it would be some stupid farming simulator (which I would think is lame). It was neither. She was constantly looking at clothes to buy. Perhaps much like I can look at the prices of video games I never have any intention of buying almost meditatively, she did the same with clothes. That doesn’t mean I forgave her for looking at clothes on her phone. I was allowed to look at stupid video games, because I’m a complex person. She’s merely a guest star or extra in the train portion of my life, and therefore my conscious was not as forgiving or understanding with her as it was with me.

I didn’t notice the man at first, and I don’t think he was always there. Maybe he was and they just didn’t talk to each other. She would get on the train, wearing some sort of business suit in the winter, and more colorful clothes in the summer (I vividly remember a orange-reddish skirt that went to her knees), look at clothes on her phone with her perfectly trimmed eyebrows, hair parted in the middle, perfectly combed, nails professional done, but not with beads or jewels on them like many women get.

I first noticed that she was talking to someone else, which took me by surprise. An image of a person on the Sobu commute changes once you hear them open their mouth. All that you imagine can come crashing down. Her voice was a lot warmer than I thought it would be. He made her laugh. Either I never really heard what they were talking about, or I didn’t remember. It may’ve not left a big impression to me, and there were more important matters to think about. Did they have sex in the morning or in the evening? I suppose the evening is obvious. How would they have sex in the morning? They would’ve had to taken an earlier train after they met.

They got off the train together. I suppose that could allow one to assume that they were colleagues. At the time I never pieced that together or really cared. In my head, I like to assume they were not colleagues. If they were coworkers, it would be apparent that I was only seeing half their train story. They also had an evening train story that was likely close to daily. Either one would inconspicuously wait for the other to give signs that they were about to leave, and then pre-emptively start leaving themselves. Sometimes they would mention in front of others that they were leaving together (as it would make sense if they lived on the same train line), and sometimes they would meet outside their workplace, as you don’t want to let people know that they were taking the train home together daily. They would start talking then.

If they didn’t work together, it would’ve been much more romantic I think. I wonder who would’ve approached whom, and how they would have done it. I hope it wasn’t they were both drunk after their respective drinks with coworkers. Perhaps it was. Perhaps they saw each other on the platform, one of them forgot that they actually didn’t know each other, and without thinking greeting the other, thinking “hey! It’s you!” Then they realized that they had never actually talked, and suddenly became embarrassed. Let’s say the man did that. The woman, having drunk a little was more confident than would usually be, and could admit to herself that she had always wanted to talk to him, despite never consciously realizing it herself. They talk, and when the train comes, they don’t get on it. With drunken confidence, the man asks the woman if she wanted to get a drink at a bar. Does the woman notice his wedding ring? (Did he actually have a wedding ring?) Has he taken it off? The bar leads to the hotel. He couldn’t stay all night, and lives about 50 minutes away. Does he eventually get home? Does he tell his wife something? Did they use protection?

If they weren’t drunk on a Friday night, then I imagine they by chance stood beside each other, and a seat opened up in between them, and the awkwardness led to them talking. Or perhaps one of them was in a hurry running and dropped something. Then the other picked it up, and ran after them. I can’t really imagine this leading to romance though. Maybe it sadly had to do with alcohol.

With alcohol, I imagine it would lead to embarrassment the next time on the train. Maybe this is when they started talking to each other a little bit on the train. However, over a few months suddenly her clothes are more colorful, her smiles are wider when we reach Higashifunabashi, and they converse more and more openly. I forget if they ever held hands on the train, but I doubt they did. I think I once remember they did something that was overly overt. I wonder what it was? Maybe she held onto his arm.

This time was very fun to watch. The woman gets on the train. Let’s say in a white blouse and that orange-reddish skirt that went to the knees mentioned earlier at Makuharihongo. She looks at some clothes on her phone. After Tsudanuma she starts looking at reflection in the window in front of her. When the train announces the next stop is Higashifunabashi she would have to suppress her smile, to not let anyone (including herself) know that she was excited and happy. The man would come on at Higashifunabashi. Perhaps there was always some tension if he would come over to stand beside her or not. At this time, he would. They would talk happily, and get off the train together, to go either to their workplace, or to separate workplaces.

I think this lasted for quite a while, perhaps five or six months. I mentioned sex earlier, but perhaps it was much more than that, and I am just being a stupid guy. Perhaps there were flowers, dinner, discussions all night. Perhaps he read John Donne to her. When his wife was out of town, did they take a trip to some hot springs in the mountains of Shizuoka or perhaps Gunma? Could she wear a yukata as they went to watch the fireworks together? Would he go to see the fireworks with her when he could?

Anyways, it didn’t last forever. One day, I noticed that he didn’t get on the train. This had happened before, but other times it did not take the woman by surprise. This time she was doing her usual routine of looking at her reflection and suppressing her smile. He did not get on the train. I think I saw a split second look of heartbreak on her face, but it was literally only a split second. The strong cold face returned, her mobile phone was out, and she was back to looking at clothes. She had allowed herself a split second of pain.

She may have realized at this time that it was a shitty idea all along, but I don’t think she did. The man didn’t get on the train the next day as well, and when he finally did, he didn’t talk to her. He found a seat somewhere. She found a seat somewhere else. I wondered why he just didn’t take a different carriage. Maybe on those days when I had assumed he didn’t get on the train he was actually taking a different carriage?

One day he did talk to her, but it was very different. Perhaps he had an interest to talk to her again, but she would never open herself up as she did before. She would never embarrass herself again by being happy with him. She was not rude. She wasn’t even cold. However, her manner of speaking was closed.

Shortly after their relationship went bad, I changed jobs, and while I still rode the Sobu everyday, I rode it 40 minutes earlier. I wonder how they are doing now. Do they still ride the same train every day? Do they perhaps now ride in different carriages? Perhaps they have made up. I hope they haven’t made up. I hope they could appreciate what they had, but ultimately know that it was a mistake. Or perhaps the man divorced his wife, and lefts his kids to be with her? Would they have made them happy? Maybe they have a child themselves?

She was beautiful, but I was not attracted to her. He was tanned, muscular and confident. I was reading or playing video games, watching a portion of their story- their morning commute- while thinking about all there is to think about.